They were ready for adventure, but no one was expecting this.
While the mother and two boys applied bug spray, the young man moseyed to the trailhead and read what was posted: he glanced over the map, noted the distance to the overlook, and scanned the announcements with other pertinent information.
He appeared to be in deep concentration as he drifted back across the empty parking lot. With a more serious countenance than before, he rounded the minivan and disclosed to the mother in a contemplative tone, “There’ve been cougar sightings here recently…”
Her response wasn’t quite dismissive, but not far from it — “Hmmm…” — she remarked, with little to no concern.
“Says to stay together, and fight back, if need be…”
The adults weighed their options and figured that, with safety in numbers on their side, there was no real danger. So, armed with these instructions, two rocks, and a walking stick, they headed toward the lake — nothing was coming between them and that coveted Junior Ranger badge, not even a mountain lion.
It was early afternoon but felt like the sun was setting. It was gloomy, just a dark, gray, and rainy day, and chilly for midsummer. Low-hanging clouds and lingering fog contributed to a sense of unease that didn’t need acknowledgment, not while entering the unfamiliar forest.
They generally moved as one unit but eventually split. On the way back, the young man walked ahead with the older of the young boys, the other two followed a few paces behind.
The rain was on and off, but towering above were beech and maple trees that shed water with every gust of wind; a persistent drizzle splashing the understory. In fact, that was practically the only sound to be heard. That, and their feet shuffling down the path. But, there was… another noise?…
Without hesitation, the young man knew what had to be done. Every step he had ever taken led him exactly to this moment. It was time to save the day. He sprung into the air as high as possible. Leaping off his left foot, he rotated 180°, right hand above his head, set to hurl a large rock into the face of a stalking predator.
The mom froze. Her life flashed before her eyes, thinking she was about to be stoned to death; the embodiment of fear and vulnerability met the stare of a man ready to kill.
By the time his heels made contact with the earth, his facial expression had deflated. He stood there, rock in hand, relieved to be mistaken, and released a deep exhale.
It was silent for a second before a flood of hysterical laughter washed over them. It was hard to process the absurdity of what nearly took place.
The mom struggled through laughing tears, “I—I think I peed a little.” She gripped the walking stick tight with both hands, propping herself up with all her might; the same walking stick that, only a moment ago, dragged casually by her side — creating a sound that might be misidentified as, say, a large cat…
They took turns recalling and repeating every detail they could for the remainder of the hike, and they’ve been laughing about it ever since.
Note from the author:
After almost 20 years, I still can’t tell this story with a straight face.
It’s one of those events that’s transcended into family lore; everyone has their own version, but they use the same words and hand gestures; a similar cadence emerges at specific points — you know when to squint for empathy and when to speak rapidly with eyes wide open.
Like any funny memory, there are levels as to what makes it funny… The sudden flash of violence and ferocity, randomly exhibited and immediately let go. The abject terror and following stillness. The absolutely ridiculous notion that a ballet twirl-to-rock throw combo would incapacitate a cougar…
It’s undoubtedly one of the funniest things I’ve witnessed in my entire life.
Stories like this tend to pick up a name at some point. For a long time, my family and I referred to this incident as The cougar sighting. That name worked for about 15 years — until I had my first real encounter with one…
This was on Empire Bluff Trail, part of Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore.
Photo: Glen Haven Beach